1 – Be a little more sensitive

The handicap updates from the USGA could be a little more sensitive, especially when your number remains the same or creeps upward. “You remain (fill in the double-digit number) . . . ” feels so cold, as if you are guilty of being negligent about practice routines or focus. Which we are, of course.

2 – Explanations, not excuses

Just thinking aloud here, but you should be able to respond, begging for empathy. You know, something like “I realize this number is unacceptable and not showing progress, but my wife has been demanding more yardwork and less golf” or “my dog chewed the grips on my wedge and 8-iron.”

3 – Maybe apply numbers differently

Or another thought: Couldn’t they send you an update that your number is closer to 20 than 10 but deliver it with a more positive spin. Perhaps, “Dear Golfer, your handicap remains at 18 but in kilograms that’s only 8.16 so continue to maintain your passion for the game.”

GOLF COURSE PHOTOS -- To Kim Ersha, a longtime USGA official and great friend, trips back to her native Iowa often involve a visit to Tara Hills CC. This sign, she said, epitomizes the quaint charm of the area. "The course is welcoming, a fun tract with golfers who love the game. An ‘Everyone Knows Your Name’ kind of place.” Goodness knows, these are rules we should all follow. Got a favorite golf course sign that you've come across, feel free to send to jim@powerfades.

4 – Progress takes some fun away

Exchanging Venmo addresses for payment purposes after a four-ball match has zero romanticism.

5 – Enough already, find some news

Apparently weekly updates on who’ll carry Collin Morikawa’s golf bag passes as “news.” Well, not in this corner of the golf universe. Here, there is a moratorium on reading or discussing anything remotely connected to this topic. Unless Danny Noonan gets the bag, that is.

6 – They’ve got wit and charm

Mark Calcavecchia can flat-out Tweet. Ditto Greg Chalmers and Roberto Castro.

7 – But the drinking crowd loves it

Totally bored by creating even more stadium par-3 golf holes. Just what these blokes need, backboards everywhere.

8 – Tennis, yes; drink, no

I like Wimbledon all right but have zero interest in a Pimm’s Cup. My loyalty is to the great fare at The Open Championship – a bacon bap in the morning, an ice cream cone with a double flake in the afternoon.

9 – Can imagine the lecture he’d provide

Of course, interviewing Gary Player while holding a bacon bap in one hand and an ice cream cone in the other is still on my bucket list.