1 – Imagine what they’ll hear at Bethpage

Collin Morikawa gets emotional after being criticized by the media by refusing to talk after the Arnold Palmer Invitational. Rory McIlroy gets heckled by a spectator, then walks over and confiscates a phone. Honestly, grapes have thicker skin than PGA Tour players.

2 – Here’s the only straw to be excited about

Debate the plastic straw / paper straw issue all you want, just stay away from pine straw. Love it.

3 – Know your audience

Word of advice: Should you be having a cold beer at a bar in Hawaii and look up to see pro surfing on the TV, do not embarrass yourself and ask the bartender to turn the channel.

4 – The man’s iconic

Speaking of surfing, there are probably three or four dozen PGA Tour golfers who think they are as cool as it gets. And not one of them is within 15 miles of being as cool as Kelly Slater.

5 – Philly Mick has lost the plot

Phil Mickelson and Elon Musk sort of deserve one another, yes?

6 – The fans have much fodder

Rory McIlroy with wins at Pebble Beach and TPC Sawgrass and it’s not even April. You know there’s a segment of his fan base who see this as proof that it’s his year at Augusta, while a nastier and more vocal lobby sees it as proof that another Masters heartache awaits.

7 – TIOs, sprinkler heads, cart paths, bees . . .

Good grief, pro golfers get more relief than a MLB starting pitcher.

8 – Hard truth

In the aftermath of the latest surgery (an Achilles’) for Tiger Woods, the popular sentiment is that it signals the end of his career. But given that since Jan. 1, 2020 he has played in just 17 PGA Tour tournaments with three WDs, five MCs, and only one top 10, isn’t it fair to say his career has been over since 2019?

9 – Relaxing viewpoint

Water vs. sand. On the golf course, they both provide daunting challenges. But at a resort, sitting on the beach beats sitting by the pool by about 5 and 4.

"Power Fades" will not be published next week. We will return on April 2.