1 – He’ll put it to good use
For a going-away gift, how ‘bout we pitch in and buy Sergio Garcia a spittoon?
2 – It’s a byproduct of skipping spring
Remember, the first person who complains about it being too hot gets a three-stroke penalty. Severe, I know, but it’ll be deserved.
3 – You cannot be serious
Please tell me you don’t use a pastel tee – or worse yet, a neon green one.
4 – Oldie but goodie
If you don’t take four golf balls at the first tee and toss them in the air to determine partners, you’re missing great flavor.
5 – The score is all you need
Irrelevant golf stats outnumber pertinent golf stats by 15-1 margin.
6 – I’m begging here
Cool photos of golf holes on Instagram are quite welcomed. But unless you can produce documentation that 50 or more people truly care where in the heck you’re playing golf – especially if it’s a media day – spare the social media world.
7 – Forget the PR spin
Regarding LIV defectors, when you’re talking numbers, it ain’t the world ranking, it’s the age. Far less impactful to lose a 43-year-old with fading skills than a 26-year-old with much upside.
8 – Will look the other way, thank you
I imagine there’s a reason for iron covers. But I just don’t care to hear it.
9 – It’s them, not me
Referencing casual observations from more than 45 years of this great game, my opinion: 86 percent of golfers who say they aren’t slow, are slow.