1 – I don’t think so

All those golfers who tell you they’re “good” friends with Tiger Woods are wishfully thinking.

2 – Masters of redundancy

When I hear announcers gush about a "new course record," I cringe. They'd probably exclaim that someone just hit "a grand slam home run, too."

3 – Why not sell mulligans, too?

Lift, clean, and place in Hawaii? Really? Taking paradise to the extreme, no?

4 – How do you prove that?

Declaring that any particular player has “the best short game” on the PGA Tour is akin to saying so-and-so is the strongest offensive lineman in the NFL. How do you quantify and what does it mean?

5 – You can’t have it all

Massachusetts has more quality golf courses than Florida. Florida just has more quality golf days.

6 – Safety measures

Always get a kick out of State Troopers guarding and protecting college football coaches. They need to lobby schools to assign them to college golf tournaments, maybe cite the possibility of unruly beverage-cart operators.

7 – While we’re young

Player-caddie banter is grossly over-rated. Why is TV so fascinated by it?

8 – Just plain silly

That’s the sound of 30 million golf fans yawning at the announcement of a site being confirmed for a 2042 national championship. Seventy-five percent of that field isn’t born yet.

9 – Give ‘em a hug

While we’ve barricaded ourselves from snow and ice and cold, our superintendents have been out in the winter elements improving out courses.