1 – There’s a method to my madness

“How’s the back?” he asked. “Not good,” I replied. “So why are you hitting balls?” he inquired. “I don’t hit balls to improve my back; I hit balls to enrich my soul,” I told him.

2 – By all means, let others clean up your mess

Swear to goodness, some golfers should carry around little flags with them, like those that landscapers use to denote where pesticides have been applied. These signs would say, “To those playing behind me, thanks for fixing my pitch marks and raking my footprints.”

3 – Explain, please

This is a public service announcement: Tiger Woods and Phil Mickelson were on the same Ryder Cup team eight times and Team USA went 1-7.

4 – Remember when

With two games on Monday night, and Thursday and Sunday nights already in play, and Sunday dedicated to golf rounds now that October is prime-time, the Sunday afternoon NFL games get zero eyeballs.

5 – Little hiccup in the swing

My guess is, thinking about whether it was goat cheese or blue cheese that I was supposed to get on the way home wasn’t conducive to an effective golf swing. But that was on my mind during the take-way during a deft shot out of the right rough short of three green. No shock, more turf than ball.

GOLF COURSE PHOTO -- Likely it wouldn't help pace-of-play issues, but should you be fascinated by the history of King Constantine . . . well, Crail can provide some light reading while playing this splendid golf course outside of St. Andrews in Scotland. As always, thanks to longtime friend and loyal reader Phil Robinson. And a gentle reminder that if you find a golf course sign that brings a smile to your face, send to jim@powerfades.com.

6 – Even when hazards aren’t in play

It occurs to me that virtually every swing I take meets the definition of “risk-reward.”

7 – Stand, please (or stay still in the water)

Likely you saw the video clip of PGA Tour player Vince Whaley playing a shot out of a hazard with a 6-to-8-foot alligator lurking about 15 feet away. Whaley showed great nerves, yes, and played a nice shot. But we’re guessing the ‘gator stayed still out of deep reverence for golf course etiquette and proper spectator behavior. Clearly, he’s not from New Yorker.

8 – We’ve all got our quirks

It’s sort of a goal of mine to go my entire golf lifetime without ever using a range-finder.

9 – Gee, don't take it personally

He told me the miss was short right at a beefy par 3. I came over-the-top and missed wide left. “I suppose you didn’t come home when the street lights went on, either,” he snarled.