1 – Getting dizzy

Driving in the left-hand lane on a two-lane roadway, drives come to a sign indicating that if you’re in the left-hand lane, you must turn left. OK, so move over to the right-hand lane. Half-mile later, it’s stated that right-hand operators must go right. Back to the left-hand lane – but only for a quarter-mile because then you are warned to turn left, so it’s back to the right lane. Felt like I was playing golf with my mates. Left, right, left, right.

2 – Gone are the days of a steak and potato

Just got a good look at Jon Rahm’s menu for the annual Champions’ Dinner at the Masters. Should you start eating at 7 p.m., the guess is you can be out of there by 3 a.m.

3 – Huh?

When my swing coach asked what I’d been working on this off-season and I answered, “my calligraphy,” he either dropped the phone into a firepit or walked off the edge of earth. There just was a wall of silence.

4 – Plus, penmanship was my favorite subject

Calligraphy? Why? Because neatness counts. Legible is paramount. Respect even the 6s and 7s with respect.

5 – For your reading pleasure

There are books galore on Tiger and Phil and LIV. Cartoon stuff. For real golf there is the 30th anniversary of Michael Bamberger’s “To the Linksland.” All these years later, it is as brilliant as ever.

6 – When it is ASAP

Scones beat muffins, 3 and 2. If you’ve ever been rushing for a tee time and need to quickly get a coffee and something to eat, you’ll know what this has to do with golf.

7 – Let’s clear this up

Now here’s something that probably has nothing to do with golf, but needs saying: Why can’t folks who run coffee shops realize that light cream isn’t half and half and half and half isn’t light cream? Same family, perhaps, but so are lions and tigers and you don’t mix them up.

8 – Bravo, Norway

Circling back to golf, when I have a vision of the Green Jacket presentation, that’s Viktor Hovland slipping in on.

9 – Tell them they can’t quit

Very distressing to put together my dream foursome and have two of the players take a pass. Apparently they got a better offer.