1 – Don’t abuse the rule

No, the leaf rule doesn’t extend onto putting greens. You miss, it counts. Cannot blame the hole being lost beneath a leaf.

2 – The world as it is

Remarkable, this phenomenon. Millions of golfers can’t do a simple thing like keep their head down over a golf ball. But put them at the dinner table with a cell phone and they can’t pick their head up.

3 – Showing off

Clubhead speed geeks are nauseating. They’re like the 9-year-old who can explain the Pythagorean theorem but can’t grasp the simple joy of dodgeball.

4 – Hmmm . . .

If golf is such an honorable game, why are there erasers on the pencils?

5 – Safety, first

Step 1 to driving a golf cart: Keep the left foot inside the cart.

6 – Guilty as charged

Personally, the mere acting of wagering on something as ludicrous as a 12-hole match between Brooks Koepka vs. Bryson DeChambeau indicates you watched that nonsense, which by itself is a punishable offense.

7 – It’s getting tired

Any chance some folks on Twitter could halt with the sophomoric drivel about Michael Block. By now, we get it. Move on.

8 – Please explain

Boston Common Golf? And a frog logo? They’ve lost me.

9 – Doesn’t get any better

Links is the best golf, bacon bap the best pre-golf meal. Done deal with me.