1 – We just counted his birdies

Was in attendance for Tiger Woods’ four straight major championships, including Pebble Beach U.S. Open where he came closer than anyone to playing perfect golf. Total times someone wrote or asked about his clubhead speed during those four wins: Zero.

2 – Not a bad way to be

Sometimes, when asked how I’m doing, just for chuckles I’ll reply, “I’m dormie. And how are you doing?” I mean, why not?

3 – Long stories longer

Depending on who you believe – and remember, hyperbole is a tool favored by many golf writers – there are 11 or 12 players who are considered the longest in golf.

4 – Did someone get paid for this slogan?

Shot Just Got Real. Huh?

5 – Heck, you hurt the cup

Most of the nasty lip-outs you see are the result of too much speed. Just saying.

6 – Going fast

The answer: 8 square inches. The question: What is the amount of logo-free space, by average, on the typical PGA Tour player’s shirt?

7 – So hard to keep track

My bad for not following this stuff, but is he still Captain America or has Patrick Reed been reduced in rank?

8 – No room to debate this

Hearing someone refer to them as sand traps is the first sign that we’re in different orbits.

9 – Final word

Yes, it’s a hard game to play. But it’s an easy game to love.