1 – Writing a headline is a lost art

Yes, I actually saw this headline: Tiger Woods Arrives at Southern Hills for PGA. My goodness, no kidding? Were they thinking that perhaps they’d do this major via Zoom?

2 – “That’s good”

I would imagine Strokes Gained: Gimmes is the most fiercely contested statistical category at most clubs.

3 – Say, shall we buy a Tesla or a few beers?

The story has been the exorbitant prices for PGA Championship concessions ($18 and $19 for beers, mixed drinks for $19, water for $6). The story should be whoever buys at those prices.

4 – Global blowing

Is it going to be windy every day?

5 – Fickle stuff

Usually when PGA Tour types rave about a course going into a major, it means 65 percent of them will hate it by Saturday.

6 – Psst, only kidding

How come Tiger Woods never gets invited to the past champions’ dinner at the PGA?

7 – Ah, lovely. Is that a pound?

Marking your ball with a foreign coin doesn’t make you putt any better. But the game is global, so give it a try.

8 – Sort of created his own mess, no?

Not sure that “feeling sorry for Phil” registers in the top 50 of emotions that should be extended to him.

9 – Who cares, it’s Thursday

You want silly, here’s silly. “Super Pairings” in Round 1. I give you one of the most historic majors of ‘em all, the 2001 Masters, because of what was a stake. (Fourth in a row by You Know Who.) Anyways, did Masters officials feel a need to pump contrived energy into the proceedings? No, sir. At 12:57 p.m., Mikko Ilonen went off with Mike Weir and Tiger Woods. I can assure you that 25,000 Finnish fans were there to follow Ilonen even though there wasn’t another Finnish golfer to pair with him.