1 – I’ll show you unplayable

Can we at least agree to this: An automatic WD to any U.S. Open competitor who suggests that some holes at Shinnecock are “unplayable.” Dude, you want “unplayable” let me make you a tee time at Ponky and Leo J; we’ll take your time at Shinny.

2 – Worth the try

Saw a bunch of lads in kilts the other night in Boston. So I seized upon the opportunity to ask, “Can you help get me on the Old Course.” One of them answered, “Not on your nelly.” I could be wrong, but I doubt he was telling me to call Nelly in the pro shop.

3 – Redundancy is fun?

Great Britain & Ireland is now a combined 18-72-4 in cups named Walker and Curtis. In our day we had to watch the Harlem Globetrotters and Washington Generals to get such competition.

4 – Ah, marketing

Nothing says growing the game like a massive banner proclaiming “Merchandise Shop Open to Public” on that temporary bridge that takes pedestrians over the Montauk Highway during the U.S. Open at Shinnecock.

5 – Wow, it’s open, let’s go

Can you imagine the conversation: “Honey, we don’t have tickets to the U.S. Open, but let’s battle hours of traffic on the Long Island Expressway and drive out to the Hamptons and go to that merchandise shop that’s open to the public so we can buy $95 polos with billboards plastered on the chest.”

GOLF COURSE PHOTO – Avid reader Mike Wells spotted this sign inside the men’s room at Lake Marion GC in Santee, S.C. He figures a lot of us could relate to the need for such a “stress reduction kit,” and he’s probably correct. As always you are related to forward any golf course sign that gives you a chuckle. Send to jim@powerfades.com

6 – From where I sit

Just a reminder, but the best golf logos do not have names or words in them.

7 – Let perspective be your guide

At first look, it was a left-to-right putt. On second glance, it was slightly right-to-left. Then I thought how I tend to push right-to-left putts. On further review it occurred to me that I often pull left-to-right putts. At which point clarity thankfully arrived: This putt didn’t matter one iota but if I didn’t get to the market by 6 p.m. to buy the ears of corn for dinner, world peace was going to crumble all around me.

8 – Sure you do

Nothing makes me smile quite like hearing a high-handicapper saying he prefers fast greens “like the pros play.” Yeah, four-putting six or seven times a round is one way to fuel your enthusiasm for the game.

9 – Lots of room so let’s waste it

When told that a new development is going to have a “championship course” I promptly envision uber rides from 12 green to 13 tee.