1 – Billy Walters, for one, would agree

Regardless of whatever it is that prompts Phil Mickelson to offer commentary, remind yourself that he is the definitive pot in a discussion about the kettle.

2 – Believe it or not

Stymied at this, Part I: Tiger Woods won a major championship more recently than Rory McIlroy.

3 – That’s a rule?

Stymied at this, Part II: Read about the Illinois golfer who DQ’d himself for fixing aeration marks on greens. You can’t do that. Gulp. We’ll table the discussion about why a U.S. Open local qualifier was held on aerated greens until we first DQ every amateur golfer who recently played in their club’s opening day event.

4 – The Match cannot ignite interest

Patrick Mahomes and Travis Kelce vs. Steph Curry and Klay Thompson? Ask yourself this: Would you spend hours of your time on a beautiful day watching Rory McIlroy and Jon Rahm play Jordan Spieth and Justin Thomas in two-on-two basketball? I thought so.

5 – Sing the praises

Brown grass is beautiful. Remember that this summer.

6 – Rekindling memories

Thanks to a parade of golf writers wasting so much time and energy to produce stories on Anthony Kim – now 37 and retired for 11 years already – it will be no surprise when AK finishes top 10 in PIP money for ’23.

7 – If you’re going to go, why not win?

With wins in the Italian Open, Australian Open, and Irish Open, it’s as if Adrian Meronk has ripped that page out of my “to go” travel list. Gotta figure he’s a lock to win the Turks and Caicos Open.

8 – Thought it was a nice offer

For Mother’s Day, I thought a very special gift offer was made: Would my wife rather I play just 18 or would she be ok if I stayed for 27? No answer, just a blank stare. Can’t figure people out.

9 – He’ll be just fine, thank you

Please hold off in organizing a Go Fund Me to help Rory McIlroy cope with being stripped of $3m in PIP money. As injustices go, it ranks behind Hank Haney being denied a sugar-free popsicle by Tiger.