1 – Captain for life

My guess is, we’re into a second generation of golf fans who think Davis Love 3d is that guy who just rode around in a cart with a walkie-talkie.

2 – Such bad form

Wearing a rope hat isn’t as unconscionable as putting ketchup on a hot dog. But it’s very close.

3 – The man needs points

Patrick Reed has requested this of all golf fans: If you know of anyone who needs to fill out a member-guest group at a tournament that awards world-ranking points, he’ll work it into his schedule.

4 – All together now, it is “All square”

You have my permission to ignore the change to match play terminology announced by the golf czars who do silly things sometime. In match play, holes are “halved” and matches are “all square.” You that, I know that.

5 – Like that took real insight

If it took five captains to decide to pair Jordan Spieth with Justin Thomas, Xander Schauffele with Patrick Cantlay, Scottie Scheffler with Sam Burns, and Collin Morikawa with Cameron Young, well, we really do have a massive issue with overthinking things in this country.

6 – Like it’s the tablet’s fault

Apparently beating the living crapola out of a Microsoft tablet is the macho thing to do.

7 – Dynamic duo

Charlie Woods shoots 68 to close out a 36-hole junior tournament in Florida. Wonder if he turned to his caddie and said, “Dad, you once said, ‘Second sucks, third is even worse.’ Well, try finishing tied for fourth.”

8 – Leave ‘em be

The world rankings, by the way, are not broken. Stop telling us they are.

9 – Cut out the nonsense

Professionals need to putt everything out. Simple as that.